The Moviegoer's Rights: A Proposal

A critic's list of the rights of film fans

Photo by Daniel Guerra on Unsplash

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men and women are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Good Freaking Cinema.

That whenever any Form of Cinema (both Moviegoer or Company) becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Cinema, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Awe and Happiness.

To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.¹

The Moviegoer’s Rights

I. The right not to watch movies.

II. The right not to explain one’s movie tastes.

III. The right to “DNF” as one sees fit.

IV. The right to be considered a true cinephile without having seen any number of the classics.

V. The right to love “bad” movies.

VI. The right for seeing movies in any setting (e.g., airplanes, restaurants; on smartphones or tablets) to be considered a legitimate watching experience.

VII. The right to prefer the movie adaptation over the book.

VIII. The right to watch whatever one wants.

IX. The right to escape within the worlds of movies.

X. The right to binge.

XI. The right to double-feature two seemingly incongruous movies.

1. These rights are inspired by Pennac’s (2008) The Rights of the Reader.